When Success Costs Too Much

Asking for help isn’t giving up. It’s refusing to give up.

Charlie Mackery

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Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

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For You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:103-14

In March this year New Zealand double skulls rower, Zoe McBride, announced her retirement from the sport. The announcement came as a surprise to many because McBride and her rowing partner, Jackie Kiddle, were amongst the best in the world at their sport. They had won the 2018 and 2019 World Lightweight Double Skulls title and previous to the announcement they had been preparing to compete at the Tokyo Olympics. However, despite her successes and the potential for more, McBride knew the right call for her was to retire.

The weight limit for the lightweight woman’s division for rowing is 57kgs. This weight limit had been difficult for McBride to stay under throughout her rowing career and it had become an all-consuming factor in her everyday life. McBride says she had resorted to extreme dieting, over-training and anorexic type eating habits, all of which resulted in RED-S; a medical condition that is caused by a prolonged period of over-training and under-fueling. McBride also suffered from depression and described herself as often feeling “desperate and low” and just a shell of her real self.

For years McBride had made herself push on irrespective of what it cost her because she believed the end result would be worth it, but by March of this year, she knew that no amount of success could make up for what she was going through. Her physical, mental and emotional health had deteriorated to such a low place that she knew the only way she could truly heal was to step away from the sport.

McBride says that since retiring she has felt happier and healthier, mentally and physically. She is very much valuing having more time with family and friends and is currently studying towards a diploma in nutrition and a certificate in yoga teaching.

Thinking About It

Throughout her career, when McBride was faced with any difficulties associated with her sport, she believed pushing through was the best option because it showed strength and would gain the desired result. She used this mentality when needing to train harder, lose more weight, overcome chronic exhaustion and fight off depression. While this mentality may be what is needed when it comes to physical improvements such as gaining strength or speed, as McBride discovered, it is not the best course of action with poor mental and emotional health. In fact, squashing the difficulties down and trying to just push through almost always makes things worse. When we are faced with factors that are detrimental to our wellbeing, we need to take the courageous steps of connecting with our support and being honest about the state we are in. Owning the situation means we can see it for what it truly is and only then, can we work through the right steps to take. It may be that we need to debrief regularly with someone about how we are feeling, we may need to develop strategies to gain a better balance in life or we may need to seek medical expertise to help us get to a healthier place. One thing that won’t help, is pretending it is not that bad or that we should just cope. Our God, the One who made this body and mind we dwell in, has no desire to see us neglect and abuse it, no matter how lofty the goal we are striving for.

The bible talks about how God knows us intimately because He created and designed our body (Psalm 139:13). It talks about who precious we are to God (Isaiah 43:4) and how tenderly He cares for us (Isaiah 41:13). He does not call us to step away from every difficult time or challenge, but He does call us to nurture and care for ourselves, protecting the precious person we each are from burdens that are too great to bear.

If you are facing challenges that are feeling overwhelming, please reach out for help. Whether it is a friend, family member, coach, chaplain or doctor, allow yourself the blessing of honesty and support. Share the burden, lighten the load, take steps towards a better space. That is God’s desire for you, His precious child.

Prayer

Lord thank You that I do not need to hide anything from You, that You know all that I am thinking and feeling and You love me through it all. Please help me to have the courage to always be honest with myself. If I am pushing too hard and not listening to my body and heart, help me to hear Your prompting and take steps to care for myself in the way You want me to.

Contributor:
Sarah Auld, SCNZ (pictured)

General Editor:
Sarah Auld

Content Editor:
Phil Pawley

Inspirational Reflections © Sports Chaplaincy New Zealand, 2021